Leading in People-Centered & Diverse Spaces
Hospitality has taught me that people rarely walk into a space as just a guest, employee, manager, or coworker. They walk in carrying their own "bricks of life", stress, expectations, identity, and story. That is what makes this industry so challenging, but also what makes it meaningful. One experience that has shaped me is working in a restaurant and winery environment where I had to learn how to lead and communicate across different generations, cultures, personalities, and work styles.
At the winery, I worked with people who all came from different places in life. Some were younger employees trying to figure out their first real job. Others had been in hospitality for years and had very set ways of doing things. Some valued structure and direct communication. Others needed patience, encouragement, or a little more grace. On top of that, we served guests from all different backgrounds. Some came in celebrating anniversaries or birthdays. Some came in already upset because of a wait time, a reservation issue, or expectations that were not met before they even sat down.
I remember learning pretty quickly that treating everyone the same does not always mean treating everyone fairly. People receive communication differently. Some people need directness. Some need reassurance first. Some guests need a solution. Others need to feel heard before they can even accept the solution. That was a big shift for me. Early on, I thought being good at hospitality meant being friendly and working hard. Over time, I realized it meant learning how to read the room and adjust without losing yourself.
One of the biggest dynamics I had to navigate was tension between the guest experience and the team experience. There were moments when guests were frustrated because their reservation was running behind or because the pace of service was not matching what they expected. At the same time, the team was doing the best they could under pressure. In those moments, it would have been easy to take one side. I could have blamed the guest for being impatient or blamed the team for not moving faster. Instead, I had to learn how to stand in the middle.
That required emotional intelligence. I had to pay attention to tone, body language, and timing. With guests, I learned that the first response mattered. If someone was upset, I could not meet their frustration with defensiveness. I had to slow down, acknowledge what they were feeling, and make them feel like I was on their side. Sometimes that meant saying, “I completely understand why that would be frustrating. Let me see what I can do.” That may sound simple, but in the middle of a busy shift it takes discipline to stay calm and not absorb everyone else’s emotion.
With coworkers, I had to navigate things differently. I learned that trust is not built from one big moment. It is built from consistency. It is built when people see that you are willing to jump in, help run food, cover a table, train someone without making them feel small, or stay composed when things get stressful. I also learned that leadership does not always come from a title. Sometimes leadership is being the person who can steady the energy when everyone else is overwhelmed.
This experience taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I care deeply about people, sometimes to the point where I carry more than I should. I also learned that I naturally notice the emotional temperature of a room. I can usually tell when someone is uncomfortable, frustrated, nervous, or disconnected. For a long time, I thought that was just being sensitive. Now I see it as a strength when it is paired with boundaries and good judgment.
It also challenged me because I had to realize that not every problem can be fixed immediately. In hospitality, you can do everything right and still have a guest who leaves unhappy. You can support a coworker and still not be able to change the entire work culture overnight. That was hard for me because I like feeling like I can improve things. But maturity, for me, has been learning that leadership is not about controlling every outcome. It is about showing up with consistency, humility, and awareness.
This will shape my future leadership because I do not want to be the kind of leader who only focuses on numbers, standards, or performance. Those things matter, but they cannot be the whole story. I want to lead in a way that recognizes people as people first. I want to create environments where employees feel supported enough to give great service and where guests feel genuine connection instead of scripted hospitality.
Working across differences has taught me that hospitality is really a practice in empathy. It asks you to meet people where they are while still guiding the experience forward. That is the kind of professional I want to become. Someone who can bridge tension, build trust, and lead with emotional intelligence without losing sight of the business. Because at the end of the day, hospitality is not just about service. It is about helping people feel seen, even in the smallest moments.