Where I've been and where I'm headed...
When I first started college, I honestly had the mentality that I was “semi-retired” for a couple of years... Haha what a mindset right? I look back and chuckle at this... After working in a restaurant throughout high school and eventually leaving as an assistant manager, I wanted college to feel different. I wanted to slow down a little, enjoy life more, and fully immerse myself in the college experience instead of constantly working. At the time, I thought leadership was mostly tied to titles and status. I viewed it as something you achieved once you “made it” into a higher position.
My first two years of college were not what I expected them to be. Looking back, I think I stayed too comfortable and too disconnected from who I actually was. I tried joining a fraternity because I thought that was what college was supposed to look like, but it never really aligned with me. I also stopped working for a period of time, which surprisingly affected me more than I expected. Work had always given me structure, confidence, and interaction with people. Without that, I felt like I was slowly losing parts of myself. Then COVID happened, which disrupted everything even more and created a period of uncertainty that I think a lot of people in my generation struggled through quietly.
The turning point came in 2022 when I started working at Monserate Winery. At first, it was simply a job, but it quickly became one of the biggest growth experiences of my life. I worked my way into a lead server position behind the bar and eventually became the lead server for the members lounge. That environment challenged me constantly. I was learning how to lead teams during high-pressure situations, manage guest expectations, train new staff, and create experiences for members who had very high standards.
That experience completely changed my understanding of leadership. I realized leadership is not glamorous most of the time. In reality, leaders are usually the ones carrying the most pressure behind the scenes. They are the people staying calm during chaos, solving problems quietly, and putting the team before themselves even when nobody notices. Leadership became less about recognition and more about responsibility.
A failure that shaped me during this time was realizing how much I once relied on comfort and external validation. Early in college, I avoided situations that stretched me because I was afraid of failing or not fitting in. Over time, hospitality forced me out of that mindset. Whether it was leading difficult shifts, navigating conflict, or starting over in a new environment like Estancia La Jolla, I had to learn confidence through action instead of waiting to feel ready first.
One value that now anchors my leadership style is loyalty. I believe loyalty is one of the strongest forms of leadership because people will give their best effort when they genuinely trust the person leading them. Loyalty is not built through authority alone. It comes from consistency, authenticity, and showing people that you are willing to work alongside them instead of above them. I think the best leaders understand that every person is motivated differently, and building trust requires taking the time to understand people individually.
Looking back, my college experience was not a straight path at all, but I think that is exactly what shaped my leadership development the most. The uncertainty, setbacks, and moments of growth helped me become more self-aware, more resilient, and more grounded in the kind of leader I want to become moving forward. Here's to the next chapter in the journey!
